


Team Red- Raccoons and Pigeons, Oh My!

by Headfulloffantasies



Category: Daredevil (Comics), Daredevil (TV), Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Blind Character, Canon Disabled Character, Deadpool (mentioned) - Freeform, Spirit Animals, Team Red, don't take anything seriously, dumpster diving, matt's detective skills, matt's super senses, pigeon - Freeform, racoons, short fic, snapshot, spirit animals (in good fun), super senses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 09:34:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19943983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Headfulloffantasies/pseuds/Headfulloffantasies
Summary: Spidey and Daredevil chat while dumpster diving





	Team Red- Raccoons and Pigeons, Oh My!

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very short, all in good fun snapshot that wouldn't leave me alone.   
> Come visit me on tumblr! https://headfulloffantasies.tumblr.com/

“I think you’re secretly a raccoon, Matt.”  
Matt stopped digging through the dumpster for a split second to scowl in Peter‘s direction. “If you help, it won’t take so long.”  
“That’s not what I meant,” Peter waved away Matt’s huff of irritation. “I think your spirit animal is a raccoon. Because you’re always ready to pick a fight and everyone underestimates you.”  
“Your spirit animal is a pigeon,” Matt shot back.  
Peter cocked his head to the side. “Not a spider?”  
“Nope. Pigeon.”  
Matt waited while Peter assessed the validity of the claim. He listened to the steady beat of Peter’s heart. Wait for the hitch. There.  
“Why?” Peter broke down.  
“Cause you’re annoying and you like being up high.”  
“Ok,” Peter accepted this with the grace of someone whose focus has moved on. “But then what’s Wade’s spirit animal?”  
“Roadkill.”  
“That’s mean.”  
“A mad cow.”  
“That’s worse.”  
“Rabid dog.”  
“Please stop.”  
Peter’s core temp hadn’t risen enough for him to actually be mad. Matt went back to digging for the thumb drive at the bottom of the dumpster. He could sense the shape of it. The reverberations inside the metal kept pinging off his radar sense. There was just so much trash in the way.  
“Knock the side for me, will you?”  
The kid obediently tapped his knuckles against the dumpster. The radar sense pinged. Matt dug slightly to the left.  
“Got it.” Matt held the thumb drive aloft in triumph.   
Peter yawned. His breath smelled like five hour energy drink. “Can we call it a night?”  
“Not until we solve the mystery.”  
Peter’s heart skipped. “That could take days! We just started tracking Malone-,”  
“Not that mystery,” Matt waved him down. “Wade’s mystery.”  
“Huh?”  
“Spirit animals, Spidey. Stay on track.”  
Matt gestured that it was time to go. He scaled a fire escape, heading for the rooftop. He leapt off the roof, billy club ready for the next ledge. A thwip of webbing sailed past him. Matt led the way surreptitiously towards Queens, continuing the conversation in midair.  
“He can’t be a moose, even though Wade’s Canadian.”  
“Not enough bulk.” Spidey agreed. “What about a cat? He loves chaos and Hello Kitty.”  
“Too tame.”  
They rolled onto another rooftop, perfectly in sync.  
Peter’s core temp and heart rate suddenly escalated. Matt skidded to a stop, looking for the danger that had startled Spidey.  
“Red, Wade is a lobster.”  
False alarm. That’s epiphany heat, not danger heat. “Because he’s red and ugly? That’s kind of mean, kid.”  
Peter flapped his hands in distress. “No, no. Lobsters live forever. They’re functionally immortal, McGoo. If you leave them alone they just get bigger and bigger inside their shells until they get crushed to death.”  
It took Matt a minute to follow that line of thinking. “You think that Wade is going to get more and more cancerous until he eventually implodes?”  
“No!” Peter’s horrified voice gave Matt the warm and fuzzies.  
“Immortality. I got you.”  
“You’re not a raccoon. You’re a demon.”  
“Can demons be spirit animals? They aren’t animals.”  
“For you they’ll make an exception.”


End file.
